Finally, finally

A darkness had been looming,
perhaps only since the last of the leaves had fallen,
but likely since months before when the world had only just finished blooming,
or even way back when at the time of the first “all in.”

This darkness loomed only so long,
until one day I could scarcely separate my own image from its shadowy grasp,
and suddenly I, along with the rest of the world from my dimmed perspective, felt completely and unequivocally wrong;
with each memory, each realization, each throb of pain would come a gasp.

In this time of darkened reality,
I found myself running on autopilot—breathing, existing, surviving, but only just—
ever resisting the urge to flee,
externally a person, internally dust.

Until finally, finally
Until finally, oh wondrous finally
The shadow that had once obscured me, had split my very being in two
Mercifully disintegrated to reveal my vibrant shades of blue
And finally, finally, I found happiness too